Michael Moore Wannabe Warrior - O

September 1st, 2004 10:14 pm

Michael Moore Wannabe Warrior – by Susan Moses

In response to Michael Moore in / USA Today

BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Poor Michael Moore.

Here's a guy people could sort of like, in the same way one could observe the curious and amusing behavior of a barnyard goat. He is not a courageous war hero, or bright or even interesting, but he seems to enjoy having been reduced to carrying a bedpan for the Kerry campaign.

So it was Monday night as the barnyard creature waddled into the press section at the Republican National Convention— unimportant to Sen. McCain — Moore was awestruck as the Senator seamlessly switched from the delivery of his eloquent speech to a pointed commentary about Moore’s disingenuousness. By Moore’s whimpering account, “Out of nowhere, he (McCain) began to attack my movie, Fahrenheit 9/11, calling me a disingenuous filmmaker. The problem is, he hasn't seen the movie, a fact he later admitted to Chris Matthews on MSNBC.” Of course Senator McCain has not seen Moore’s film. It is remarkable that Moore would find that information anomalous.

The barnyard idiot thinks that Republicans are mad that his little movie may have convinced people to tip the balance in November. Moore’s claim that Saddam's Iraq was an "oasis of peace" has certainly tipped the balance as demonstrated within the last week by the extremists in Russia, Jerusalem and his new second home, France. Some of the 20 million who have allegedly seen his “thing called film” must be celebrating the truths about terrorism revealed by Moore in contrast to the actual events unfolding around the world.

Yet with all the serious issues facing our nation, Moore would rather write about Goobers, a mosh pit at a Slayer concert and Beavis and Butthead. He would focus on the faces of Iraqi people fearing their death, but not at the hands of the man who persecuted them. No, Moore has rewritten history to spur his bank account. He believes that portraying revisionist history on video is a documentary and apparently there are millions of unfortunates who would follow him and newspapers ready to champion him in print. Even more pedantic than his “thing called film” are his attempts at the written word. Middle school boys scribbling notes from summer camp are better equipped.

Senator McCain stood solidly on the stage as he addressed his audience. While Michael Moore would prefer to wallow in a cesspit of negativity, America honors Senator McCain for his service and the sacrifice he made during his five and a half years in a North Vietnamese POW camp. If there is any question of sanity the world must turn to Michael Moore just as the convention audience did on Monday night.

In response to Senator McCains comments about Moore's rediculous movie, thousands of Republicans, Democrats and Independents turned to him chanting "four more years." Obviously failing at simple math, Moore held up two fingers, uttered some gibberish and made the “L” sign with his hand. His pathetic display drove the delegates and invited guests into a frenzy of laughter at the antics of the misfit. "L" is the international sign for loser. Moore must be the only remaining person not to have realized that he has become the biggest loser. After he left the convention floor, he cried, “If you have never had this happen to you, I insist you try it at least once in your life.”

The fact that Senator McCain has elected to stand proudly with the President, offering to soldier with him, is a difficult fact for Moore to digest, and there are not many things that the barnyard goat will not digest. Michael Moore wants to devour everyone who does not abide by his brand of anti-American speechifying. The problem with him is that he turns any good thing into crap. He leaves a trail of it behind him as he carries on the bidding of the Democratic Party, George Soros and Moveon.org.

How does Bush's campaign treat Michael Moore? Like it or not he is a citizen of this great nation. He enjoys free speech, and the ability to move freely in and out of the convention hall. He is limited in his actions only by the law. No one within the President’s campaign demanded that his film be censured, pulled from theatres or limited in any way. Chris Matthews said a main point of Moore’s movie was that "war is often fought by people without power." Perhaps the point of the “thing called film” is actually the filmmaker’s self-reflection.

Michael Moore is a powerless, pointless individual who does battle in his own imaginary war each day to stay alive beyond his fading fifteen minutes of fame. One day he will see brave soldiers face another camera and tell the truth to the American people about what is going on in a place called Iraq. On that day he and Senator Kerry can compare notes on the net result of revisionist history. Agghh!